I want to smile without pills. I hate my life. And I just want to die. I hate living. And waking up kills me. I cry all the time reason or not. Now I have none stop anxiety problems. I just want to be ok. I wanna be like every other teen. But I won’t be. I’m stuck being depressed I just wanna smile n not think about dieing. My head is so fucked up. I’m to the point where I can’t even fake the smile. It’s that bad. I just want help… and no one sees me as needing it cause no one sees me how I really am. They don’t know how fucked up I really am. No one knows the life I lived. Everyone thinks I have such a good life. But I really don’t. My life has been hell and as soon as something good happens something comes along to fuck my life up. I honestly don’t know what more I can handle… I wish there was help for me. I wish someone would see this hurt.